Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A day of sadness

Got word this morning that Mary's mother passed away. For those that don't remember, Mary is one of my closest friends and her mother suddenly became very ill at the beginning of the year. Constant headaches, not feeling well.... After numerous tests they found out that she had both brain and lung cancer. A woman of perfect health all her life, and never a smoker, Blanca fell ill fast. She began chemo and radiation immediately. It helped a bit, but nothing was going to cure her. We knew that from the beginning. Mary's been by her side day and night, waiting on her mother hand and foot, doing whatever it took. She was able to take her mom home to Honduras a couple months ago to visit with family and say her goodbye's. It made her feel so good to be able to grant that last wish for her dying mom. About a month ago, she got worse and doctors stopped all treatments, advising her to just let the cancer take its course. From what I understand this last month has been extremely difficult. Mary sat and watched her mom die, she watched her take her last breath. And today, she gave word that her mom had finally found some peace. Please say a prayer for Mary.... she's an only child and her mom was her world. She's got many friends that are rallying for her right now, but we need her to understand that she is not alone in the least.

Originally I was going to post about me not feeling well, but that seems so insignificant at the moment....

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Public Service Announcement

I, Jessica Sotier, on this day, am forfeiting my rights and abilities to commute from Wildomar, CA to Carlsbad, CA. It is in the best interest of myself and other drivers on the road that I not continue on with this commute. In more ways than one, this horrendous drive is a hazard to my health. Several examples may include:

*Getting up at 5:30 am to make it to work by 8 am is just rediculous. Especially being that I do not sleep any longer (I just toss and turn all night). When you put an extremely exhausted and delerious person behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, you run a high risk of said driver fighting to keep her eyes open and focused on the road ahead.

*Sitting in 2.5 hours of traffic each day is not only physically but mentally exhausting and may result in extreme cases of road rage, often involving many loud and obnoxious profanities being shouted at the moving (or not moving) vehicles surrounding said driver. Please excuse her behavior, especially if you may have small children in your vehicle. (Although, if you do have small children in your vehicle, you should not be driving like a complete asshole in the first place, but that is another story.)

There are several more examples to assist in supporting my case, but I'm too exhausted to think at the moment.

Man, do I wish I could sign this one and turn it in to someone who cares.... :rolleyes:

Monday, November 27, 2006

I quit!

I'm done.
I can't take anymore.
I don't want to be a grown up any longer.
I don't want any more bills, no more disconnect notices!

I just want to come home and know that my house is gonna be here, my electricity is gonna be on, my water and gas....

I just can't take it anymore.

And the worst part is knowing that that FUCKER is going about his life, living it up, all bills paid, food in his fridge, gas in his cars, heat, water, electricity, still spoiling his kids. Doesn't have collectors calling him all hours of the day wondering where their payments are. No care in the world that he has ruined me financially. No care.

Karma's a bitch dude and you will get what you deserve.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Getting ready for Christmas!

Thanksgiving has come and gone.... Had a great holiday dinner with Johnny's family. My poor mom has been battling a stomach bug for almost a month now and wasn't able to make it.... Hopefully she's on the road to recovery finally, just as Christmas starts to roll around.

It's been nice having the last 3 days off with my Honey. We decided to use a really beautiful artificial tree this year, rather than a real tree. Growing up, I always had artificial trees, so I vowed to have a real tree every year as an adult. But, with money being so tight, Johnny's dad offered us his artificial, which we decided was a great idea. Set the tree up on Friday night and spent the entire evening decorating it. We had a great time putting together our first christmas tree together.

Saturday we spent decorating the rest of the house, Johnny climbed up on the roof to put the lights up, cleaned up the house a bit.... So nice to just have quality time together. Pulled the couch bed out and had a fire going in the fireplace and fell asleep out in the warm living room.... Loved every minute of it. Love making memories like that. Still need to get pictures of the outside of the house, but here are a couple from the other night and of the tree...

Our first christmas together begins....

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A year ago today....

It's hard to believe that it's been a whole year since I had to put my little lion to rest.... I miss him so much and think of him all the time. And there's always a tear in my eye when I realize that he really is gone....

I miss having him climb all over the laundry, getting in my way while I'm trying to fold.

I miss him sitting in the middle of the kitchen every night crying out, just to make sure everyone's tucked in.

I miss him sitting in the kitchen window squeeking at the birds and fly's.

I miss his furry little body, leaving hair everywhere he went....

I miss my Simba.

Rest in peace my little lion.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

identity crisis

so i was at work, and someone asked my last name.... i hesitated. because it's not really my name anymore. it belongs to someone else. but yet i still continue to go by it and be identified by it, but that's no longer the person i am.... that was me many moons ago.....

when my divorce is final, i won't be going back to my maiden name because i have no ties to my father or his side of the family. it's not a name that i choose to take on and be identified by....

and soon after my divorce, i hope to be taking on a new name.... a name that i'd be proud to carry and represent...... i can't wait to become mrs. john fappiano. :D i can't wait to carry the right name...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Yay for updates!

Randomness at it's finest.... :p

1. I'm still alive! Sorry for such the long delay between posts.... Just so crazy busy and tired by the time I get home. It's dark now in the evenings when I pull up in the driveway :o(

2. I have some absolutely amazing friends and family. Without you all, Johnny and I would not have been able to financially survive these last couple months.... Thanks to many people, we've managed to keep the roof over our heads (avoiding foreclosure!), bills paid (no collectors calling!) and food in our fridge. For that, from the bottom of our hearts, more than we can even begin to express, we are so eternally grateful.

3. Work is picking up. I still hate the commute but at least I'm being properly trained right now and actually working and doing the duties that I was brought on to do.... If anything, it's more experience under my belt. Still looking for something closer to home and hopefully in time, I'll find just the right position.

4. My birthday's coming up! Yay..... As a little present to myself, I'm going to go scrap with Toni on Friday the 17th at Pink Pineapple. And, I will make it to midnight this time!! :p Saturday the 18th is my actual birthday, which I'll be spending with Johnny. :o) And maybe Sunday we might get together with friends. Who knows.... But, I'm gonna be 25! Where does time go?!

5. I've been scrapping a little here and there.... I've uploaded all but the latest 2, and you can find them in my gallery over on SJ.

6. Trying to get ideas for my Christmas cards.... I want to get started on them soon so that I can get them out in the mail by the beginning of December. Decided that I'm not going to hand-make every single one this year. I'll be hand making several for those family and friends that are closest to us, then I've bought some really pretty cards for the rest of our circle.... So, please don't feel bad if you don't get a handmade card. I know that I made 40+ cards last year and I'm sure that the majority of them got thrown away. Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates the time and energy that we put into our craft. :o(

7. Jessie's pregnant!!!! No, not me, Jessie on SJ.... Isn't that the best news in the world? They've been trying for over a year (is it close to 2 years?) and after numerous procedures not taking, she made the big announcement last Friday that this latest procedure took and she's having a baby!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!

8. I know there's more.... I sit in the car on my way to work and home again and write this blog over and over in my head, so I know I'm missing something..... But I've gotta get on the road. So, I'll just try to remember what it was and come back and update later.....

Love you all!