Happy Happy Day!

Randomness....

*2 more days till Johnny's birthday. Was kinda stressing because things weren't falling together as planned, but it's all good, and it's turning out just fine and we'll have a great time! Pictures will most likely follow next week.

*Kim's coming to Cali!! That's right, Kim Turpin is making her way from Canada to Vegas next January/February with her dh, and they've decided that since they're gonna be in the states they'd take a trip to Anaheim and visit some of the SJ ladies. Happens to be the week of CHA, so CP's gonna be in town... I get to meet more Jazzers and I'm so excited! Ruthann might come out too.... Fun times!

*Cross your fingers girls!!! Was chatting with a gf today and saying my goodbye's (she's moving to Texas) and as we were standing there talking, a co-worker of hers happened to walk by and she introduced us and jokingly asked him if he was looking for a processor (back to the mortgage industry)... I gave him my number and he stated "You'll definitely be hearing from me" WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!

*Finally getting my account set up on DeviantArt. Johnny's been a member there for quite some time and he's been pushing me to set myself up, but I couldn't come up with a good user name for me, so I kept putting it off. Last night he decided to just do it for me and get me started.... So I've got one picture up, need to go through and upload some more. But the link is on my sidebar, so be sure to go have a look... I'm sure you've seen most of them anyways, I usually share here and on SJ. But it's a cool site, have a look around!

*Neen, keeping my fingers crossed hun, be sure to update us as you hear! And for Lindi too.... She's got an offer on the house finally, hoping that it goes through, they definitely need to get that baby sold!!

*And the best ever news yet - Caitlin is home!! I'm so excited for her to be home with her family after all this time... Welcome home Caitlin!!!

You guys are awesome!!

I can't ever say enough how much I appreciate you all.... The love and support that I've received from so many of you in the last year has been incredible and I couldn't ask for a better group of friends.

I think it's funny how people can look at me and say "You've never met those people irl, how are they your friends?!" but you guys really are like a second family to me.... And it's hard to explain to someone how it works.....

I've been very blessed with the relationships I've made through ScrapJazz and can't tell you guys enough how much you rock!

That's my piece for the day *muah*

When it rains, it pours!

Why does everything seem to happen all at once?? I don't know how much more I can take.... Honestly....

I went back to the courthouse on Friday to file what I thought was the last of my paperwork. I was wrong. The clerk informed me that I'm just starting. She remembers assisting David when he was there on Wednesday filing his portion of the paperwork and says that because he filed his response (as we were told to do by another clerk) that basically he contests the divorce as I have laid it out.... In no way, shape, or form does he contest this divorce. We agree 110% on the entire thing and just want to get this done. Now, I'm going to have to go back to the courthouse (again, for a 6th time and 6 day off work) and try and be first in line to sit and talk with the free attorney there (it's a first come, first serve basis) and have him go over another packet of forms that I need to fill out since we've gone in the wrong direction. I'm not sure if we can un-do what has already been done and get back the extra $335 filing fee that David was told to pay (which is all wrong!) Basically, if David wouldn't have responded to my inital set of forms that he were served with, his 30 days would have come and gone and the courts would have assumed that he agreed with everything and they would start our 6 month count-down.... So it's all screwed up.

Then, we got the electric bill on Saturday and it's higher than it's ever been before.... Almost $600. We've pinpointed it to the actual air conditioning unit. It's been making some wierd noises off and on and hasn't been keeping the house as cool as normal.... It seems to be working much harder to put off the cool air. I'm sure it's repairable, but it just frustrates me because I paid a couple hundred dollars last year to repair it, and seems I'm going to have to do the same again this year.

I'm still having issues with payroll here at work. I'm keeping my eyes open for other jobs, but there's just not much available out here. And what is available isn't going to pay me near enough to make ends meet. Did I mention that I have no more savings account? Yea, I had to drain that in order to pay the mortgage last month..... I'm owed 3 checks still from work here. I'm supposed to be getting a check sometime this week, but I have no idea how much it will be for....

And, with all the trips to the courthouse in the last month and a half, I've taken 5 days off of work. Fortunately, he hasn't docked my pay yet (who knows what will happen in the future when I actually receive my pay). But I have a trip planned to Michigan next month which requires me to take 4 days off of work. I've already purchased my plane ticket and I'm really looking forward to this trip... But at this point, I've taken so much time off of work, and I know I'm really pushing my limits. Not to mention that I really don't have the money for the trip anymore....

And of course, with all the stress, my psoriasis has really started acting up. My hands are blistered and sore.... I just want to cry....

eta: my mom just called. she talked to a friend of hers who talked to his lawyer. seems that maybe we've done everything correctly. but in 6 months when all is said and done, in order to complete all of this.... i have to pay another $400 for a Final Dissolution of Marraige.

Now I'm crying.....

I Scrapped!!

Yay... slowly getting my mojo back.... doing something a little different, pushing my limits but having fun all at the same time....

Taking my foot outta my mouth now....

Alrighty then... He's got a girlfriend. That explains the song choices (not so much as to why he stole my song, then proceeds to use "our" song for her, but hey, it's okay!) Good for him, happy that he's moving on. Maybe then things won't feel so awkward..... Just hope he can really truly move on in the same way that I have.

In other news.... Sitting at work bored today. Was gonna post on Oscar's blog (since I'm a guest blogger and all....) but I completley forgot her password. Thought I had it memorized, but I must have typed it in wrong because it didn't find her page. Ooopsies. She's due back from vacation at the end of the week and Neen has blogged twice and I haven't done a single one yet.... I really suck. Oscar, I'm sorry hun!!

Meeting my honey for lunch today.... I always look forward to that. :D Alrighty kids, that's about it for me.... I'm off to find somethign to occupy my time!

Frustrations!!

Grrrrrr!!!! Okay... I thought things were going well between D and I.... that he was going to be totally cool with the situation - the divorce, me being with Johnny.... but he's doing these little things that are just driving J and I crazy! And I'm not sure what's going on.... I feel like he's dropping these little hints thinking that I'm gonna change my mind, and I'm sure as hell not!!! Seriously.... If this stuff happened to you, what would you think?! Like for instance:

1. On myspace, I had my song listed as John Legend's "Stay With You"... it's a love song and I have it there for Johnny.... D messaged me that he liked my song and then decided to list it as his song on his page too.... wierd.

2. I go to his page today and it's Brad Paisley's "Little Moments" which was our song... wierd and bothersome.

3. He posts a blog about how much it hurts to see the person you love with someone else, to know that you want them and love them and they don't feel the same way.... Fucker, this was your idea. And I'm happy.... I'm not changing my mind.

Dude.... seriously.... it's really starting to bug. And I sure as hell don't want Johnny thinking that D's pulling this stuff and I'm gonna change my mind... I can't tell him enough how happy I am and that even if J wasn't in the picture and D came back, begging... I wouldn't do it... He wanted this, so he has to deal with the consequences.... But it's really starting to bother me that he's doing little things like that.... Am I outta line?!

I am SOOOO jealous!

Seriously... for those of you that don't know who Kim and Morgan are... You really need to go over to her page and check them out.... He's the cutest baby ever and I'm sooooo jealous!! I love him, and it doesn't help that Kim just rocks those pictures and pages of him! I just wanna squeeze him!!!!

Kim - I am so coming up to Canada to meet you guys!!!

A to Z

A to Z about me.....

A: apple pie: my favorite to have with thanksgiving dinner (dutch apple all the way!)
B: babies: i can't wait to have them and be a mommy!
C: cooking: i love to cook and be in the kitchen with johnny
D: drums: i've always wanted to learn how to play the drums
E: excited: i'm so excited to be going to michigan next month
F: friends and family: they're most important in my life
G: grown-up: extremely grown-up and mature for my age
H: happy: i'm finally happy with life and filled with hope for my future
I: immpatient: i have absolutely no patience and it drives me (and everyone around me) crazy
J: johnny: :D need i say more?!
K: kisses: i love his kisses and can't get enough (okay, i'll stop before you start to gag!)
L: love: its the best feeling in the world to know you're loved for who you are
M: money: i could always use more of it!!
N: new zealand: i cannot wait to go there and see neen again!
O: orangutans: my fav animal at the zoo
P: perky: i hate overly perky people.... like cheerleaders... they get on my nerves!!
Q: quiet: i'm quiet at first, until i get to know you... then i don't shut up
R: ready: ready to start scrappin again.... mojo, come back!
S: scrapjazz: the best website in the world, filled with some amazing ladies!!
T: tired: what i am right now.... i need a nap
U:
V:
W: wealthy: i'm wealthy in friends
X:
Y:
Z:

okay.... i can't come up with ones for those last couple letters.... suggestions?

Random Stuff

Haven't had one of these in a while, so here it goes....

*Friday is my brother's 22nd birthday but he'll be out at the Padre game with his fiance and friends, so tonight, the family's getting together down in San Diego and going out for some awesome chinese food! I've been craving this restaurant for months, and we're finally going!!!

*I've been driving Johnny's Mustang for the last couple days and I'm loving his car.... Mostly because it's not my beater Honda, but I especially love that he trusts me to take it.... From what I understand, only a handful of people have been privledged enough to drive his baby, and I'm the first that he's allowed to actually take it on the freeway.... So he must truly love me! :p

*My ear's still bothering me a bit. Not too painful, unless I put pressure on that side of my face. Still a little swollen, but overall I'm okay.

*Just a little over a month till Michigan and I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Gonna miss my honey for 6 long days, but I'm really looking forward to hanging out with some of you crazy ladies (and I'm terrified of this crown that Cheri and I are joking about!!)

*sidenote: for those of you that do not frequent SJ, I have been crowned the Queen Pervert and Cheri has decided that I need a crown... And I'll be meeting her in Michigan, so.... I'm a little scared I'll be receiving a crown with an appendage on it.... :p

*I've been asked to be a guest blogger on Oscar's site while she's away on vacation for 2 weeks... And Neen has already made her entry.... now it's my turn. But I have nothing exciting to report.... any ideas?!

*And finally - I've lost my mojo... anyone seen it? Can you send it back to Wildomar please?? I need it.... I sit in my scrap room staring at all of my lovely papers and chipboards and paints and oodles of ribbons.... and nothing.... I have no desire to create. I've tried to put a couple cards together and get frustrated and end up ripping them apart or just walking away.... still nothing. Maybe I need to get some new pics printed off and start on "our" book.... maybe then I'll be a little more into it.... just maybe....

Alrighty ya'll.... that's it for me today.... Thanks for checking in on me... Luv Ya!!!

Life is going good!

Seriously you guys.... I feel at such peace right now, it's really awesome.

David came by last night and dropped his signed papers off at the house. It went surprisingly well. Of course, Johnny was there and they got to meet, which went really good. They talked bike, D caught me up on all that's going on in his life, he played with the dogs, it went really well. Johnny was asking him about an issue we're having with the lawn mower and told him that he hopes he doesn't mind that he's kinda taking over the house and duties like that.... David looked him in the eye and held out his hand and thanked him for taking care of me.... I swear I wanted to break down in tears right there. Overall, he stayed about an hour, the 3 of us talking. When he left, they shook hands again, D told Johnny to take care of me, and then he hugged me goodbye....

This morning I asked David if it was awkward for him or if he was just being polite, but he said no, it was all real. He just wants to see me happy, and he can see that Johnny brings that out in me. I guess it's kinda nice that things went so well - kinda gave me a peace of mind. Anyways, he signed all the divorce papers as well as the inerspousal deed to the house... Now to get it all filed.

Things are going good.... I'm glad that it's all turned out to be very civil and that all is peaceful.

4th of July Weekend

Hope you all had a safe and memorable weekend... I did. I honestly couldn't ask for a better group of friends, old and new!! I reconnected with an old high school friend this weekend and it was so great to catch up with her.... We reminisced over old memories and created some new ones, she had her industrial done while at my house this weekend, and she fit right in with the rest of us and wasn't scared off by my friend's crazy antics....

Had a bbq on Sunday and had everyone over to the house. Had a great time, other than feeling a bit sick from the heat and being a little hung-over. Got to meet Johnny's sister Renae who is just so sweet and I can't wait to get to know her more. And his niece is just the cutest, although I can see I'm gonna have to win her over because she's very protective of her uncle Johnny. I got sequestered a couple times when I called him 'honey' or hugged him or anything like that.... it's too cute that they're so close.

Monday, my mom served D with his divorce papers. He seemed a bit surprised, but took it very well. He emailed me and seemed completely okay with it and explained that he has no problem signing the house over to me (yay!!!). Looks like this might be civil after all.... Went out to dinner with my mom to celebrate and ran into another friend from high school.... I think I had a mini-reunion this weekend.... Too funny, but nice to see old friends.

Our 4th of July was extremely fun. Went to Canyon Lake and sat on the beach with everyone, barbecued, played in the water a lot (just about the time you dried off, you'd have to jump back in because it was so hot) and I managed not to get sunburned!! Can't say the same for Johnny though - he's a little red, but nothing too bad. The fireworks were a bit disappointing - the music ended before the actual finale was shot off, and the entire show was delayed several times because the boats were too close to where they were shooting the fireworks from.....

All in all, it was a great day and I had lots of fun. I do have an ear-ache from being in the water so much, and I'm pretty tired from being in the sun all day, so I'm looking forward to going home and kciking back for the evening with my honey..... But it's a short week, and the weekend will be here before you know it!!

Had a Dream Last Night

And it's really bothering me this morning.... I don't normally remember my dreams, but this one stuck with me so vividly....

I dreamt that I came home from work to find D parked in the driveway. He informed me that he was here to pick up a couple things. I tried to convince him that he'd already picked up all of his stuff and there was nothing left here for him, but he would not back down.

I walked to the front door and unlocked the security door. I then fumble with my keys to find the key to the interior door, and he decides to go ahead and unlock the door himself (this is the key that I did not change - so he still does have this key irl). He pushes his way past me and walks in the house. I immediately get nervous because Johnny's things are strewn about the house - his guitar specifically..... which D immediately spots and starts questioning whose it is. Then he picks it up and starts playing with it. And I know that Johnny would start breaking fingers if he ever saw D touch his guitar!!

I'm standing in the middle of the living room trying to convince him that there's nothing here of his for him to pick up (mind you, he brought the bike, so how would he transport anything?) but he refuses to leave. Then I see an older red truck pull up into the driveway (it looks just like D's shop truck at work) and Johnny gets out of it, with his boss (why he's in D's shop truck and not his car, I have no clue!?). I go meet him in the driveway and explain what's going on, because he noticed the motorcycle in the driveway. He's furious but I convince him not to go in the house.

I'm walking back towards the house, leaving Johnny standing in the driveway, and suddenly, my mom is at the front door, and so is Johnny's mom.... They're both trying to convince me that it's okay, that everything will be okay. D's still in the house. Johnny's standing in the driveway fuming. I walk into the house crying and end up sitting in the hallway trying to figure out how to make him leave.

I don't remember what happened from there - I was seriously so upset from this dream that I woke myself up. I couldn't go back to sleep after that because I couldn't stop replaying it in my head. Honestly, if that were to ever happen irl, it would be seriously disasterous. Johnny's got a temper, and so does D.... I'm afraid to even think of what the outcome would be.... They would both be seriously hurt.

Anyways.... I needed to get that off my chest. Not necessarily looking for a response. I just didn't know where to post it, so I came here....